I had never fallen into addiction in my life, until 2013, I fell hard. I found a drug that kept me hooked, that made me feel amazing while doing it, made me feel amazing afterwards and started to hurt when I couldn’t do it. It became my escape, the only way I could deal with stress, what triggered my crying and eventually filled me with smiles and love for myself. Whenever it wasn’t available I tried to substitute it with whatever was available, and when I found no time I felt like I was failing my body.
People warned me about it, they said, once you start you will get hooked. But I wanted to try it for myself, I wanted to feel the rush, I wanted to beat the struggle, and most of all I was thirsty for self-respect and in a pursuit of happiness. So when a friend told me about trying it for the first time, I thought it was the best idea I’d heard in a while.
Crossfit. I’m sorry if this disappointed anyone. There’s crossfit lovers and crossfit haters, I know. But this article is NOT about Crossfit, it’s about fitness. It’s been said hundreds of times that physical activity produces chemical reactions on your brain that release “feel-good” hormones. That’s what makes it addictive, and I have no doubt.
But the real reason I am proud to say that I am an addict is because for the first time in my life, I know who I am, I’m proud of who I am and who I’ve become. Fitness gave me that, fitness got me to fall in love with myself because it eliminated all self-doubt, and disappeared every fear or insecurity I had, it gave me the security I longed for. I literally stopped giving a shit about who likes me or doesn’t like me because I like myself, and at the end of the day, that’s really all that matters.
XOXO,
C.
